This weekend I was asked to help out with the Intervarsity fall conference, Crosstraining, in Oshkosh. I was excited to be able to attend this conference again- I had attended my freshman and sophomore years at UWL and had great experiences! I was able to carpool and room with my good friend, Rachel, from UWL (who just moved to Wausau in Aug to take a teaching position), so it was great to catch up and have fellowship with her!
I went into the weekend expecting to lead students and help them hear from God, but I quickly found God had somethings He wanted to tell me, too!
1. Over the past few weeks, I have found myself struggling with assurance of my own salvation. I'll start wondering if I am really saved and going to Heaven, if I am misinterpreting what the Bible says about salvation, etc....of course, when I take those thoughts captive and think logically, I know I clearly remember praying to "ask Jesus into my heart," and I have seen God work in my life in too many ways since then for that to have been a false conversion. On Saturday night of the conference, everyone gathered together for a time of worship, and I found it hard to focus with these doubts and questions spinning in my mind. That's when I realized, these thoughts aren't from God or even from myself- these are direct lies from the enemy himself. When I question if all I believe in is true, I hold back from putting all of my hope and trust in Christ, and I am robbed of the peace and joy that He wants me to experience. When these thoughts strike, I need to not just chase them away with a pep talk to myself; I need to take authority over Satan in the name of Jesus and tell him to scrat- he is NOT going to take away the joy of my salvation!
2. My quiet time- this past year has actually been pretty good as far as staying up on Bible readings. My dad and I are going through a one-year Bible and trying to hold each other accountable to staying on top of the readings, and my mini-church has been going through a Bible reading schedule together, too. It's great to have the accountability to get the readings done...but sometimes, all I do is get them done! I need to take my quiet time more seriously and take time to talk to and hear from God, not just read through my Bible like it's a textbook. I won't always get an emotional high or some profound revelation through my quiet time with the Lord. But, you know what? I go to coffee dates or have IM chats with my friends, and I don't expect an emotional buzz or anything from that, but I take those times seriously because I value my friendships and want to stay in communication with the people I love. Shouldn't I value my relationship with God so much more?
3. To be more organized! I'm not sure where this one came from- maybe from being around Rachel, who, despite being a first-year teacher, somehow manages to keep her life in order. Or maybe from hearing speakers urge college students to take their studies, finances, etc in order and be good stewards of God's blessings. At any rate, I know my life would be a lot less stressful and I could keep my priorities more straight if I can keep things more organized - my things around the house, my finances, my time, and all the other things I'm blessed with. I tried to put what little energy I had into organizing my bedroom when I got home, and I made some progress, but I think this will be a multi day project! The important thing is that I get it done and then stick with it!
4. This is probably the hard one. During our worship celebration on Saturday, two people performed a skit wherein a girl is looking at herself in the mirror and asking God to make her into His masterpiece. God walks in with a chisel and hammer and explains that these are the tools that He needs to use to take away all that isn't Him so that she can be a reflection of His Son. The girl complains that it's painful, and God asks her, "Do you think I don't know pain?" He tells her to see this not as a punishment, but as a Father lovingly disciplining his child. It's scary to think what God might have to chisel off of me in order to make me His masterpiece- but He hasn't called me to an easy or a comfortable life. When I think about who God is and what He has done for me, how can I desire to be any less than His masterpiece?! I've asked Him to come chisel away what isn't of Him in my life, knowing that the temporary pain I may feel will be worth the joy that He brings me!
I think that sums it up- I'm so glad I was able to go this weekend! Nighty night for now!
