Sunday, October 24, 2010

Waiting or Running Ahead?

So, this morning at WAC Pastor Greg preached on the passage in Joshua wherein the Israelites are preparing to cross the Jordan.  They had to follow God completely by faith up to the point where they actually stepped into the flooded river and got their feet wet, and that's when they saw the waters part and where able to cross safetly.  Sometimes following God is like that: we can be lead in a certain direction and wonder, "how on earth is this going to work out?" but God waits for us to take that first step of faith before showing us what He is really going to do.  Pastor Greg pointed out that God likes to make us wait on Him because it forces us to trust in Him...but sometimes, us waiting on Him is actually Him waiting on us to take that first step of faith.

This evening in my mini-church, I mentioned that I was really worried about what I was going to do after I got back from Spain.  I don't know if I want to pursue K-12 teacher's liscensure (did God close that door during my undergrad because He wanted me in Spain first, or because I'm not meant to be a teacher at all?), if I want to pursue a Master's in TESOL without teaching liscensure (in the hopes of teaching adults or teaching somewhere other than public schools), or if I'm supposed to make a completely different career path.  I looked into some programs at Northcentral Technical college here in Wausau and was interested in the paramedic technician program or the DHH Interpreter program, and I've also thought about going for a master's in counseling.  (If I did that, I would definitely want to go through a Christian school, and it might mean going back for a second undergrad first).  My mini-churchmates kept saying I have two years to decide, and even then I don't have to decide right when I get back from Spain.  I guess they're right, but not knowing might mean getting stuck in an entry-level job again (NO MORE CALL CENTERS OR WAITRESSING, PLEASE!!!), and trying to get everything in place while I'm in Spain could be a real nightmare.  I almost transferred from UWL to UW Madison while I was studying in Mexico, and getting together my transcripts, applications, etc. was an absolute nightmare. 

One of minichurchmates, Winter, pointed out that she sees me as someone who needs to look ahead and know what's going on in the future.  She's right; I do tend to forget to live in the present.  I should add that today after church I mentioned to a friend, Angie, that I was going to Madrid next year and she flipped out with excitement for me...and I just kind of stood there grinning and saying, "Yeah...I'll be excited once I get my support raised."  I can't get excited about the future unless I have all of my ducks in a row! 

I don't want to make God wait on me...but sometimes, He is going to ask me to wait on Him.  He isn't always going to show me everything laid out in front of me.  Sometimes, He is going to ask me to take the first step of faith- and, sometimes, He's even going to make me wait on that. 

I know what I need to do right now.  I need to live each day as it comes for God's glory and make sure I'm following Him hot on His heels.  I need to trust that He will provide me with what I need to serve Him in Spain, and that He will take care of things when I get back, too!  If I'm earnestly seeking Him, it's not like He's going to hide His will from me just to tease me (He's "God the Father," who wants to do great things in my life -- not "God the Pesky Younger Sibling" who hides important stuff from me just to watch me sweat!).  Now, if I can just keep that in my head, I'll make life a lot less stressful for myself!

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